Last Days of Summer

Something about the inevitability of Autumn that propels one to indulge in the last of summer's delights. Hamburgers (albeit gourmet), hot dogs (better yet kielbasi) and over-chilled white wines. Best of the summer bounty - lobster bakes!

A new strip mall arose in Clifton from the ruins of an antiquated car dealership. The occasional clothing store is outnumbered by the food joints. Hohum Fridays, locally owned Greek, Italian and pizza venues. A yogurt bar with lines half way down the street. And a very attractive street at that. Manicured pathways, fountains and music soaring over speakers all night! Seriously, Ella Fitzgerald while gnoshing on a yogurt cup? Tres civilized.

The biggest draw in the mall is undisputedly Joes Crab Shack. You know, those goofy commercials with diners getting waylaid by claws on their way to "bland" fast food joints. Joes relishes an eccentric atmosphere. Take the waitstaff outfitted in tied dyed or humorously suggestive tees like "Down, Dirty, Messy". Then there's the Macarena, the house dance that the waitstaff breaks into every hour or so. It's like Glee meets Lucky Changs. The kids love it, shaking their tushes to the other forbidden dance. My dinner companion and local pub buddy is a native Jersey boy who's delight in seafood is only surpassed by his love of wrestling big game fish. Of course his name is Joe.

Inevitably it all comes down to eats and Joes is all about seafood with an emphasis on Crab. Starters include a gluey chowder, decent fried oysters with a spicy remoulade dip. Best of the lot - Crab Nachos.

Skip the salads, the token chicken and pasta dishes and go straight to the steampots and buckets. Not too complicated - pick the type of shellfish combo, the seasoning (Old Bay, Ragin Cajun, Diablo). We opt for 2 Samuel Adams pots for the lure of meaty meaty lobster claws and a prerequisite for a lobster bake - sausage. Given the devotion to New Orleans style cookery, this sausage turns out to be Andouille. Old Bay seasoning adds a salty back note to the beer reduction. The potatoes are meaty but bland red bliss. Corn on the cob however is superb. Not overly steamed, sweet, crunchy and daintily sheared of husk and silk.

Get a gigantor sized 22 oz beer for like $5 but stay away from the cocktails. Way too much sugar and calories for a drink. Save those for the Key Lime Pie or Sea Turtle Sundae.

Joes Crab Shack

405 Allwood Road Clifton, NJ 07013

(973) 777-5114

Better Than Belmonts?

While rotting destruction and shredded vocal chords surround me these days one truth remains inescapable: a foodie must eat.

I wait at the bar at Truvatos for my friend Jen to arrive. Now Jen and I are polar opposites. She blonde, peaches and cream. Me, dark and bronzed. We've been likened to a black and white cookie. I sip a Cosmo 'cause we all know Vodka's good for the throat. The guy to the left of me says you have the sexiest voice I've heard outside of a 900 number. The guy to the right of me orders Escargots. They look good, smell even better. He offers me a butter drenched nugget on the tip in his tiny fork. Why thank you! Good way to start the night.

Jen and I are seated and immediately order the Shrimp Beeps. If I've heard correctly beeps originated at the Belmont Tavern, a revered Newark establishment originally located next to a chicken butcher. Hence the extended list of chicken dishes and the term "beeps." The Beeps at Truvatos are fatter, juicier and more plentiful, nestled in a more complex sauce, somewhere between a marinara and scampi sauce. Robusto!

Jen opts for the chicken breast Diavolo while I'm jonesing for dark meat on the bone. I'm not claiming this Chicken Abruzzio, roasted chicken in vinegar is better than Belmonts chicken Savoy. I'm just stating that the vinegar reduction with a touch of wine in which shitake mushrooms and slivers of red hot peppers bathe is slap-my-ass-and-call-me-Betty delicious. Just saying.

We order a dessert of strawberries and cream. Heavy whipped cream is just about my favorite topping to lavish on anything. Truvatos pushes the envelope even further. Theirs is not just whipped cream, or even a marscapone blend, but made with cannoli cream. The strawberries are tart and crunchy enough to counter the velvety folds of cannoli clouds.

To our supreme disappointment our waiter Uwaldo informs us "no more strawberries." The bitter shock on our faces is enough to send him scurrying off to make amends. Uwaldo returns carrying a 3 foot tall vial of Grappa in which 2 bosc pears have been fermenting. Like many family style Italian restaurants Truvatos offers a signature digestive to their patrons. Grappa happens to be theirs. He fills our snifters with priestly ritual. The pears however are in an adventurous mood and tumble out of their vial, onto our table, splashing me with their heady juices. My lime green top is splattered with Grappa to our waiters dismay. I shush him. Stained chiffon is a small price to pay for this elixir.

I might not be able to speak but it's sure good to eat.

Truvatos Restaurant, Closed Mondays
206 Route 46 East, Elmwood Park, NJ 07407
Tel: 201-797-7552